I might be saying this JUST because I am out of mood, but today, I felt that Cairo is such a boring dull city with nothing to be done. It is full of faceless faces doing all the same stuff over and over again. Stuck in lives they chose to be trapped in, pursuing dreams that are not even theirs. Yeah, Cairo seemed dull today.
Sigh. I need some coffee and a painkiller, all at the same time.
My sister is playing a video game. She keeps losing. And she keeps saying ‘ana mott! ana mott!’. I look at her in a cynical smile and ask her not to over react. She says that in gaming, overreacting is all there is to it. You have to overreact to enjoy the game. I dwell on the thought, preventing myself not to read too much from what she is saying. I decide to blog about it instantly instead. As a mental not for future reference.
Some mornings, you wake up feeling that something is not in place. Something is not where it should be. You don’t know even the significance or the impact of that void on your day. In such mornings, you submissively decide that the void is not important. You decide to ignore it, mainly because you don’t really know what it is exactly you are missing, like some background music, so faint, you can’t even make the melody of it.
But other mornings are different. Other mornings, you know exactly what you are missing. You know exactly where the void resides, how you should have been feeling instead. You know precisely why you are aching and what you are longing for. These mornings are just colder than usual, are quieter.
You try to ignore it. But you know that all you have to do is get used to it.
Have you ever wondered why your days are all somewhat alike? Do you find yourself wanting more out of your life and yourself? Do you KNOW for sure that you have much more potential than what you are actually showing?
This might seem a bit straightforward, or too-easy-to-be-true, but actually what you need to change is not yourself, you don’t need to focus on changing your sleeping or eating habits, you don’t need to rise earlier or do some long term planning. All you have to change is your: A.T.I.T.T.U.D.E.
Changing your attitude is like changing or wearing glasses. All you need some new perspective.When you change your attitude, suddenly you will find that some items naturally came to focus. Some stuff become more important or apparent than others. Or it is like standing in the sun, and you are tired of how it is directed to your face and you are irritated by it is blazing rays, you don’t have to find a shade, with the right pair of sunglasses, your sun becomes your friend not your enemy (that of course and a good sunscreen).
So what is changing your attitude? In one phrase: It is deciding to care more about some stuff and caring less about others. Just that. You put your ‘focus’ on what is important to you, not anyone else, and haze-out those unimportant details. It is just changing how you perceive your surroundings. That’s all. And yes, it is just about either seeing the glass half-full and the glass half-empty.
Let me share a minor success story in my life. When I was in second year in college, I used to be ‘careless’ about my studies. I simply didn’t care. I did a lot less than my best, and when the results came out, I got an Average grade while all my friends ranked top on class. Now after the denial, the bargaining, the depression, the overreacting, the anger, the acceptance, I realized that I can too rank next year. I mean I have what it takes. No, I didn’t know if I had what it takes, but I just decided to care much much more. That’s it. Care more about my studies. Everything else came in place. I was just the same me. I didn’t quite change, but my ‘attitude’ did. B fadl Allah, I ranked top on class for the next 2 years.
The most beautiful thing about changing your attitude is that you still do things your own way. If you decided to study more, you can choose to either be an early bird or a night owl. Pick your own style, as long as you get things done..eventually!
If you looked at the Sahaba in the time of the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him), you will find that their personalities didn’t quite change,from before and after entering Islam. What changed is their care about Islam and other Muslims, but still each applied their own visions in their practise, and none of them were wrong!
If we decided to care more about how we perceive ourselves, rather than how people perceive us,
If we decided to care more about make ourselves happy, rather than trying to please everybody else,
If we decided to care more about saying ‘Thank You’, rather than blaming people do something wrong,
If we decided to care more about the beauty in this world, rather than it’s noise,
If we decided to care more about our today,
If we decided to care more about trying again and again,
If we decided to care more about our dreams and our hopes,
Things will be better.. not always easy, but they will definitely be much better.
Well for one thing, I have re-organized my files and folders on my laptop, which is something I am positive everybody in the blogosphere is going to be excited about and everybody is going to be sharing this post, specially when I also add that it had been one of my resolutions for 2009 and I did it on the last week of that year.
No seriously. I have discovered online streaming. Namely surfthechannel.com. I watched numerous Seinfeld episodes..Many of which I have never seen before. AND I also have just discovered that Golden-globe winner TV show, (not a sit-com but rather a ‘mockumentary‘) The Office. I know it is a 5 year old TV show, but it is I don’t know.. my type. Serious-funny keda. It’s about office dynamics, job rumours ,routine ,the quirky boss, the annoying co-workers, the ‘grey’ atmosphere of the office. I loved it.
I am unsure. Of anything. Whether I am right or wrong, whether there is a right and wrong, whether I am fair or not, whether I should be saying what I just said, whether I should be even writing this post. My heart and mind are always struggling, are always wondering. Each telling me a million different contradicting things . Most of which are ideas that are not even mine. I don’t know whether I should not do something because I am afraid of doing it, or just do it because fear is a normal sentiment. I make mistakes, strategic ones, I admit, but I almost always pay for them, even on daily basis. Am I learning? Yes I am. Is that good enough? I am not sure, because I do the same mistakes again, even with less frequency, I do them again nonetheless. Is that normal because I am in my twenties? Wisdom comes later? Then Lord Grant Me Patience . And Grant Me Guidance Till Then To Make The Right Thing More Often. To at least know what it is. Because Lord, I am not sure, most of the time.
لا تجبر الانسان و لا تخـــــــــيره
يكفيه ما فيه من عقل بيحيــــــره
اللي النهارده بيطلبه و يشتهــــيه
هو اللي بكره ح يشتهي يغيـــــره
عجبي
I am off facebook and gtalk for about a week now. I am so proud of myself!
The perfect book makes you smile and tear. But mainly, it makes you think.
While reading a perfect book, you don’t feel like you are reading, you feel like someone showing you places you have never been before and is directly talking to your soul. A perfect book gives you the impression that it knows you, quite well.
The perfect book always holds answers to everything.
The perfect book makes you sad and happy you are turning to the last page of it.
The perfect book makes you reluctant to what shall you read next, because nothing else compares.
The perfect book always exceeds your expectations, no matter how high they are. It holds a surprise or two wrapped as if specially for you.
The perfect book is like a new love, you keep talking and referring to it in your daily conversations, uninvited.
The perfect book has a distinguishable scent.Might not be very unique, but its just distinguishable.
The perfect book blocks from your focus anything else. You hear nothing, you see nothing, you notice nothing else but what the book is conveying.
Non-readers don’t like your favourite book. Because naturally, you ignored them too often while reading it.
The perfect book makes you want to write, not necessarily about it, not necessarily to be read either, but just write
After a long while, the perfect book holds the memories and the sentiments of the older times at which you read it. By holding it and flipping fast through the pages, with a nostalgic-induced smile upon your face, you can hear the sounds of the past.
The perfect book is never bookmarked to your favourite quotes. For every page is your favourite.
The perfect book is frequently taken from your books shelf, so that you can read a random page while standing there before you start your actual reading session. When you are done, you realize you have been standing there still for too long, reading one page after another. You are not sure if you want to read something else, because you already like the mood this book has set for you before you go and sleep.
The perfect book might not be in a perfect condition. It is re-read too often.
The perfect book might not be even yours, it was someone else’s favourite book and they have found the courage in their heart to lend it to you.
The perfect book, if it is a novel, is very likely to be made a movie. But no matter how good the movie is, it is never comparable to the book (in extreme cases, a movie ruins the book), because no one gets it like the way you do.
Behind every perfect book is an idolized writer. A masterpiece creator, who might not be able to write something as beautiful yet, but you are willing to forgive them for as long as you live.
The perfect book very often does not have a very good cover picture, but you like it nonetheless.
The perfect book can be given to your children to read, and they give it to their children.
The Perfect Book is Timeless.The Perfect Book is Eternal.
If I could be a fictional character, from a book or a movie, I would like to be, no not Kathleen Kelly(not today at least), but rather Elinor Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility.
For one thing, she is the eldest of 2 sisters. She lives in the country side(something I would love to experience). She is so reserved and ladylike,She is strong at heart yet very caring.She is intellectual, faithful and affectionate. She puts interests of others before those of her own. Has a keen sense of responsibility towards her family. With strong conviction that strong emotions are to be kept only to herself rather than out to the world. Holds an impressive degree of self-discipline. Matters of the heart are matters of her own and no one else. Not to mention the british accent! 
But the beauty of Elinor can not be emphasized upon without her very sister: Marianne.
Quotes I love:
Marianne: Always resignation and acceptance. Always prudence and honour and duty. Elinor, where is your heart?
Elinor : What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering. For weeks, Marianne, I’ve had this pressing on me without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature. It was forced on me by the very person whose prior claims ruined all my hope. I have endured her exultations again and again whilst knowing myself to be divided from Edward forever. Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you
Elinor: I have nothing to tell.
Marianne: Nor I. Neither of us have anything to tell. I because I conceal nothing and you because you communicate nothing.
Elinor to sick Marianne: Marianne, please try… I cannot… I cannot do without you. Oh, please, I have tried to bear everything else… I will try… but please, dearest, beloved Marianne, do not leave me alone.
I have previously referred to this amazing conversation from Sense and Sensibility here!
If you could be a fictional character, from a book or a movie, who would you want to be?
Check out this cool watch!
It feels kinda alarming. As if one should do something before it’s too late.
For the first time in a very long time, I accomplished all the items on my to-do list. You know when you tell yourself you are going to start-up right on the first day of the week, then you screw it, then your whole week goes to drain, then the second serious attempt is like two weeks later, then you fail again? Well, that is the story of my life for the past couple of years. So now, as minor as it is, I will record my first day of the week minor success with a celebrating post.
Could I please please please brag about it some more? I mean I woke up on an irritating phone call from the manager and still was able to rub it off and not let it ruin my day, and the early interruptions, I decided to write that post (see below) instead of losing my temper–talk about healthy anger management. As this blog witnessed many of my down days, allow me to be narcissist and say: I feel accomplished and am actually proud of myself today.
And you know what really really helps and I have no idea why I don’t do this everyday? Raq3teen awel 7aga el sob7. El7amdolelaah!
Trivia: You would Roll On The Floor Laughing if you actually knew what was on my to-do list for today. But I don’t care. I am still content. El7amdolelah.
I HATE INTERRUPTIONS!
You know, people keep telling you to plan your life. To have to-do lists and time allocated for everything, you try hard to manage your time and get rid of your life-suffocating procrastination. Then those same people as if intentionally try to interrupt your plans with unannounced tasks and errands. I was more comfortable when I wasted my own time other than people wasting it for me.
All my life problems. All of them, whether personal or professional, stem out from the lack of time management skills. It is the root of all evil in my life. Begad. This of course and the invention of the tabbed browsers.
Well at least my problem has a solution.
.. that nobody cares. It is just relieving you know. Nobody holds consequences of your actions except your own self. Then you do what want or what you have to do (which might be opposite things) and not care about who thinks what. Everybody has their own opinion that might and might not be agreeable with yours.
And when you ask a person’s opinion, keep in mind that what is more important than these opinions is why do people have them in the first place. And at the end of the day, really nobody cares. El7amdolelaah ya3ny!
اللهم إنى أسألك رحمة من عندك تهدى بها قلبى، وتجمع بها شملى، وتلم بها شعثى، وترد بها الفتن عنى، وتصلح بها دينى، وتحفظ بها غائبى، وترفع بها شاهدى، وتزكى بها عملى، وتبيض بها وجهى، وتلهمنى بها رشدى، وتعصمنى بها من كل سوء،
Me: Dee, your social network always amazes me. I mean you know everybody! and everybody just knows everybody else. I think you stand really close to the center of this country.
Dee: Yeah, it scares me as well.
Me: I mean I bet somehow, if I asked you, I’ll find that your uncle went to school with the president somehow.
Dee: (Silence)
Me:(Skeptic) So did he?
Dee: No actually my uncle is the president’s doctor.
Me: Okay that’s it. Goodbye.
